


The World Turns too Fast

by blueabsinthe



Series: [Community: lawandorder100 drabbles] [12]
Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: lawandorder100, Drabble Collection, F/M, Prompt Fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-14
Updated: 2009-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-21 10:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueabsinthe/pseuds/blueabsinthe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes there is no stopping the past from colliding with the present ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The World Turns too Fast

**Author's Note:**

> For the 'Alternate Universe' challenge. I ended up writing twelve parts, which are all compiled here. Posting for archiving purposes.

She was five foot two - five foot five if she wore heels – with hair the colour of sunwarm honey, and eyes like matching chestnuts.

She was Alexandra Eames on paper.

Lexi to her friends.

Eames to the teachers.

But to me, she would always be Alex.

The girl who sat next to me in Biology, and the girl I dreamed about kissing every night.

Alex.

Alexandra Eames. Eighteen, beautiful ... and perfect.

-x-

I think Alex never knew I existed. After all, I was the nerdy guy who had the answer to every question, and who constantly scored in the top percentile of our grade.

Every time Biology came around, I would sit there and watch her walk into class. The early morning light filtering through the blinds, and tangling in her hair.

She would always gracefully slide into her seat; turn to me with her brown eyes twinkling, and say, “Morning, Robert.” 

-x-

Biology was always my favourite class of the day for the sheer reason I got to sit next to Alexandra Eames. She was my most private of fantasies; the girl you dream about introducing to your friends and the girl you know would make a good impression on your family.

She was also very much … taken.

It was always the same routine after class. She’d stand, smile at me, tell me goodbye, and then she would be out the door and into the arms of her awaiting boyfriend.

Joe Dutton.

And, it’s funny, because despite wanting to hate him for being with Alex, I couldn’t.

-x-

The rest of the year went by in a blur, culminating in our graduation; it was a beautiful New York morning.

She looked like life, light, and summer. Her honey blonde hair falling in loose curls to her shoulders, and her dark eyes twinkling.

Alex turned to me, a smile on her lips, and patted my arm gently.

“Take care.”

I responded with as much enthusiasm as I could muster, and watch as Joe led her away.

The years past, as they tend to do. I breezed through my undergraduate, completed med school, and am now almost through my residency. I forgot about Alexandra Eames, and Joe Dutton.

At least … up until this rainy New York night, I thought I had.

-x-

“White male. Late 20’s. Gunshot wound to the chest.”

“Patient’s name?” I ask, before rattling off instructions to my interns.

“Dutton,” the paramedics say, handing me a sheet. “Joe Dutton. Shot in the line of duty.”

I nearly drop the sheet. “Joe Dutton?” I ask, trying to mask my shock.

Before I can get an answer, I turn, and see her rush into the ER, followed closely by who I assume is Joe’s partner.

“Alexandra?” I ask when she is within earshot.

She narrows her panic-stricken eyes on me. “Robert Goren?”

-x-

Except for the expensive three piece suit she was wearing, Alex looked exactly the same.

“How is he?” Alex asks, her brown eyes giving away every emotion she was feeling.

“Hit and miss at the moment.”

She lets out her breath in a whoosh. “This is Joe’s partner, Mike Logan. He’s the one who called me. Imagine. I decided to leave the DA’s office early so that I could go home and get a half-decent night’s sleep. Have to be at court early tomorrow.”

Alex used to ramble when she was nervous. Old habits die hard, I guess.

“You’re a lawyer now?”

Alex nods. “Homicide for Queens.”

-x-

I want to question her further, but my questioning is halted by one of my interns rushing towards me.

“The chief is asking for you, Dr. Goren.”

“How bad is it?” I ask.

My intern glances towards Alex and Mike, before looking back at me. “Not good.”

I can see Alex’s eyes begin to well with tears. I nod, and turn back to her. Usually, after completing your first year internship, a doctor becomes almost numb to their emotions.

Never in my life have I cursed my choice of profession more than I have at this moment.

-x-

She reaches for me, her fingers brushing against my arm, as I turn to leave.

“Robert,” she begins, “you never lied to me once in Biology. Don’t start now. Tell me what the odds are.”

I stop, but I can’t bear to turn around and look at her tear-stained face. “Gunshot wounds to chest are never good,” I answer in a roundabout fashion.

I can almost see her face crumble at my words. I half-wonder if that is the most emotion she has been allowed to show since starting her work as a Queens Homicide ADA.

My pager beeps insistently.

-x-

“Call it, Dr. Goren,” the chief of surgery says solemnly.

The flat beeping sound disappears as I turn my attention to the clock on the wall. Waiting a few seconds for tears that I know won’t come.

“Time of death ... Twenty-three, forty-five.”

I’m out the door soon after.

She stands in the waiting room, next to Mike. I take a deep breath and begin one of the longest walks I have made in my life.

“Alex,” I begin when I am within earshot.

-x-

She takes one look at my face, and I know she knows.

“We did everything we could,” I begin. “The damage was too extensive. He bled out. I’m sorry.”

The words sound hollow and meaningless, I realize.

Alex is shaking her head back and forth; Mike is on his feet, reaching a hand out to her.

“Alex,” I start, “we can give you numbers to” – I stop when she holds up her hand.

“I’m still trying to process that ... that my husband, my high school sweetheart is ...” Her face crumbles, and without thinking, I catch her in my arms as she goes down.

-x-

It rained all day at Joe’s funeral.

I watched as she gave her eulogy. She talked about Joe the thirteen year-old, and Joe the man, and what he had meant to those who loved him. She mentioned how Joe loved his job. How he was the most moral man she had ever met. And, how she loved him.

When she was done, his commanding officer stepped up to the microphone.

“Joe Dutton is now at rest.”

‘Amazing Grace’ began on the bagpipes. Guns exploded in the air.

And then, it was over. Joe was at last, at rest.

-x-

She didn’t return my calls, or acknowledge the flowers I sent to her office. Finally, a year after Joe’s death, I found her on my doorstep.

“Thank you for the flowers,” she said. “It was going above and beyond your duty, but thank you.”

I shrug. “It’s the least I could do. I wondered if you would ever come around.”

“Can we talk?”

“You sure took your time about it. A year to be precise.”

“I’m a slow healer.” She smiles weakly.

I hold the door open. “Would you like to come in?”


End file.
